Lammy Kills!
by Mark Shepherd
Summary: Watch along as Lammy gets in trouble over mentality issues! (Rated for randomness and intentional deaths)


**A/N: I actually had this thing for awhile now, but I didn't post it because I thought it sucked. I just decided to post it up now out of boredom. Most of this story will just be random and for gags.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HTF or anything.**

Handy parked his truck up at the side of the road, just as Lammy got into her house across the street. Disembarking from his service truck, the used his teeth to move several pylons from the flat bed towards the side of the road, in an attempt to block it off. However, he was unable to get the object in the far back of the truck, making him give the trademark gesture of frustration.

Luckily for him, however, his crush and potential girlfriend, Petunia, has just arrived on the spot to greet him. She gave him a look as he attempted to reach into the back of the truck.

"Hello there Handy," Petunia greeted. "What's going on?"

"Someone was blown up by a field of landmines just around here," Handy explained. "Now someone's gotta dig them out."

"So what do you need?" his girlfriend replied.

"I just need that metal detector, in the far back of the flat bed."

"On it."

Petunia managed to climb and reach into the back of the truck with relative ease, but still had her OCD in full swing as she attempted to avoid the pieces of dirt and dust on the tools stowed within. Getting a hold of the metal bar, she retrieved it out of the flat bed and got off of the dusty bed, brushing herself off afterwards.

Attempting to grasp the metal detector, the handicapped beaver found it futile as he was unable to get within grasping range, much less be able to grip the bar. Eventually he just mustered in frustration and gave up on the relatively simple task.

"Let me help you with that," Petunia filled in. She took the metal detector in her hand, but couldn't help but notice it being dusty. In turn, she proceeded to wipe it good with a handkerchief she was apparently carrying before smacking on a pair of rubber gloves and finally picking it up.

Handy somehow managed to plug the detector into a power socket of a diesel generator in the back of the truck. Flipping it on, the detector's red light started to blink slowly and beep gently in response to being fed the power it needs. Petunia aimed the detector on the ground as Handy pointed out the direction.

"Alright," Handy informed. "This may be painful."

Moving cautiously, the skunk listened closely to the metal detector's beeping noises. Eventually, the peeps picked up its pace before it virtually sounded like a solid tone instead of beeping. Looking down under the metal pad, the two could clearly see a green pancake shaped landmine.

"Alright, it's disarming time," Handy said as he stepped forward. "You might want to stand back."

Petunia did what she was told and simply watched the engineer proceeding to work. However, Handy simply took a rock with his mouth and lopped it at the mine, causing it to explode and blowing the stone towards Lammy's house, shattering a window.

"Is… is that how they do it?" Petunia asked skeptically.

"It sure is," Handy boasted. "They've been doing that since-"

Lammy rushed out the front door of her house at the moment, in order to observe what type of commotion was going on that just shattered her window. Of course, she brought Mr. Pickles with her, but he soon went missing as she was scouting the surroundings of her front yaerd.

"What's going o- OH MY GOSH!" Lammy gasped, as she suddenly saw Mr. Pickles appear behind Handy, threatening to throw him off into the minefield.

"Huh?" Handy managed as Lammy charged across the street to push him out of harm's way, only to land into the minefield and get blown to shreds.

Petunia panicked at this, and started to back up from Lammy before making a run for it, only to trip on another landmine and get skewered by the shrapnel. Lammy bit her lip, hoping that there were no witnesses at the crime scene.

"I didn't know that those things were explosive," Cuddles commented as he was walking by with Giggles. "Oh, hey Lammy!"

Lammy stared at the rabbit, eyes wide, as she saw Mr. Pickles again, this time on Cuddles' head, threatening to strangle him with his bunny years. Lammy tried to disarm her imaginary friend, but only ended up strangling Cuddles herself. Giggles stared before screaming in fear, running off down the sidewalk and towards her vehicle.

Lammy's eyes grew wide again as her schizophrenia started to kick in again- This time, she saw Mr. Pickles inside Giggles' car, raising his top hat off and diving under the rearseat. Lammy, attempting to be the good Samartian again, broke into Handy's truck and used the keys left inside to fire it up in an attempt to pursue and rescue Giggles from the diabolical pickle. Or at least so, that's what she thinks.

The carchase was almost halted at a nearby intersection, where both cars saw Splendid hovering carelessly with a fresh batch of cookies in his hand, obviously proud of his cooking skills. While Giggles was quick enough to thwart her vehicle out of harm's way, Lammy's truck simply rolled over the superhero and kept on going. While Splendid himself was rather unscathed from the impact due to his superhuman abilities, his cookies were not, being broken and thrown all over the road.

"NO!" Splendid shouted. "It took me five days to prepare that dough, Five Days!"

The Superhero then proceeded to take off and go after the lamb who happened to have ruined his cookie batch. The chase was then extended to a few more intersections, before officer Lumpy was thrown into the mix.

The half witted moose was mindlessly munching on a hamburger when Giggles' car ran a redlight in an attempt to outrun Lammy. By that time, the signal has already turned green when Lammy passed by in her truck. At this time, Lumpy snapped to his senses that the driver has just happened to run a green light,

"Holy god, that driver just ran a green light!" Lumpy declared as he got into his car to chase after the truck.

Eventually, Splendid caught up with Lumpy's police car in his flight, where Lumpy rolled down his window to yell out a question for the hero.

"You know that guy?" Lumpy asked.

"No, but she just knocked me over, spilling my cookies!" Splendid raged.

"Then that makes her a dual offender!" Lumpy declared as he pushed his car into high gear and put on the police sirens.

Scouting out for any objects of opportunity, Splendid caught a falling pipe from the truck as it hit a pothole. Aiming it carefully, Splendid threw it like a javelin, where it caught into the rear wheel of the service truck, forcing it to jam and splinter off as it hit another pothole. Lammy looked at herself as she opened her eyes, terrified over what has happened.

"Hold it right there!" Lumpy declared as he pulled his car to a stop, with his gun aimed at her through the window.

"You don't understand," Lammy cried. "It wasn't me! I was just trying to-"

Splendid has already taken the task into his hands and personal, where he simply hovered above the lamb's head and knocked her out with a good punch.

"There's a place for you disgusting cookie spoilers," Splendid declared mockingly.

Already out cold, Lumpy simply dragged the lamb off into his police unit, where he proceeded to drive her off to an unknown location…

**Please review.**


End file.
